Skip to main content

TGIF

Thank goodness it is Friday! I was so happy when I woke up this morning and remembered that today is Friday. Payday at that! I don't know why payday excites me, as all the money goes to some sort of bill! But, I'm thankful that I can pay them. This weekend is exciting though because I can enjoy it without being sick! Plus I get to go to lunch with my dear friend who I love having lunch with because we can relate to a lot of the same things. Guess that is why we are friends!

As the week comes to a close I like to reflect on what has happened during last 5 days. It's crazy how so many ups and downs occur in such a small time frame. No major occurrences (thank goodness) but, one that make you stop and think where you are. This week I discovered that one of my co-workers in my department is expecting. I still don't know why I have the feelings that I do.I should be happy for the ones around me, but I still feel some sort of jealousy. I want so bad to feel excited and happy for them and I do...to an extent and then that awful feeling of jealousy creeps across me. I try to tell myself that it will be me again someday and that I should just be happy for what god had given me, but I just can't those feelings to go away. I guess in a way I feel left out or singled out. Then I get to come home to someone who knows what life in my shoes is like, my husband. I wonder if one day I will be free of these feelings.

Comments

  1. Yeah, it is hard to be excited for others when you are deep in grief for your baby. There is no reason to feel bad about it, it is the way you feel. I keep telling myself that I need to own these feelings because it is all part of the process of healing. I believe they do eventually go away with time-- as long as we work them out and don't repress them

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hello September

I can't believe it's September! So close to Fall.  This time of year is one of my favorites.  Of course, Fall in South Texas is not the Fall I am used to being from the Midwest.  Football isn't the same if you're not freezing your buns off in the stands, holding a cup of hot cocoa just try stay warm.  It reminds me of marching band practice and the fall festival in my hometown.  Funnel cakes and potato gunfights. Freshly pulled taffy and the Ferris wheel that was always scary but the best view in town. And who can have the Fall without the beautiful changing leaves!  My goal this year is to make it up to North Texas where I hear the leaves do change colors. And call me crazy, but I think this will be the first year I really jump on the pumpkin spice train.  I like pumpkin but never really understood the whole craze around the pumpkin spice.  But I made me some pumpkin pancakes the other day and I was definitely craving more after they were gone! Also, it's La

On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact.

This is what one study showed, conducted by Phillipa Lally, and published in the  European Journal of Social Psychology.   The study also says that it greatly depends on the person (of course), the circumstances, and the behavior.   Habit: A settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up . I have been making exercise a habit since March, earlier this year.  A habit, as in at least 5 times a week, during one program 6 days.  I think the longest I have taken a break in the last 8 months was a week or two, cause hey, life happens.  It has improved every aspect in my life physically, mentally, and emotionally. I used to be that coworker that would fall asleep at her desk.  Seriously, I felt like I was back in high school in biology class, which I had right after lunch, with the monotone teacher (sorry Mr. Clark).  You know the feeling when you just cannot stay awake for the life of you.  That was me.  Until I made exercise part of my daily routine.

February 08,2009

Today was a normal Sunday. I got up and my husband and I had breakfast together. I went off to my little side job, I guess you would call it. I work the M-F 40 hour week plus pick up a Sunday lunch waitress shift to make a couple extra bucks. I just started back to this extra job about 3 Sundays ago, the first since Darcy was born. I had worked there while I was pregnant and the regulars know me pretty well. Well, today I waited on one of the regulars and she said she had recalled me telling her I was pregnant a few months ago. I told her she was correct and she responded with a "Well you should be showing by now?". I replied with a smile on my face, trying to make the moment not so awkward "we lost her, she was born too early". Of course, you could tell the woman felt terrible for asking and that's what I hate about it when people ask me about my pregnancy. You just don't know what to say or how to act when something so terrible has happened. Her being brou