Skip to main content

Eight hours

Here I sit 8 hours before my open heart surgery. I've waited to write another post since I've been having multiple emotions over the past week or so. I've cycled through fear, excitement, hope, uneasiness, and anxiousness, just to name a few. I've even wanted to call all my doctors and tell them I've changed my mind, I can't go through with it. Then I remind myself that this has to be done, I'll have to go through it at some point in my life, might as well be now when I am healthy and strong.

I expected to be a mess today. Even though I feel like I've gone through today with a deer in the headlights look, I am pretty content, at ease. Elliot only spent about an hour and a half at daycare today while I did my pre-op testing. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her since she won't get to see me while I'm in the ICU. I've talked to her as much as I can about mommy staying in the hospital. I've tried to get her excited about different family members coming in town over the next week and she's handled the information pretty well. She's been playing doctor a lot, using me as the patient, so when I come home I know I'll have an excellent caregiver.

I don't know really what to expect. I'm just so ready to get it over with. Ready to start healing. Ready to get things back to normal as soon as possible.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

4 month have gone by...

Four months ago I lost my baby girl. That’s what has been on my mind all day today. If all had went the way a pregnancy is suppose to go, she would have been born this month. But, I can’t keep thinking of all of that. The days, weeks, and now months are marching on and I must too. Of course that doesn’t mean forgetting or pushing it away, but to not dwell on the “what if I did this” or “what if this had happened” or “if I just had been here”. I can’t change what happened. So, to start looking forward and honoring my daughter, I’ve thought about the up and coming March of Dimes in my area. My friend, just yesterday, invited me to join her hospital’s team. I thought that was an excellent idea and I am planning on joining her and her teammates. I would like to honor my daughter in other ways too. If anyone has any unique ideas, please feel free to share them with me. I recently took a huge step forward. It may not seem like one to others, but to me it’s a huge advance. A little back story...
Post a Comment
Read more

Crawling out from under my rock

Hello again blogger world! I have been in hiding for some time.  Elliot is now 7 months old and changing everyday.  The other day I picked her up and she just looked so different from just the night before when I laid her down to sleep.  It is crazy how fast they change.  She does something new every week! In the first days of having Elliot home I couldn't imagine her being any different or doing the things she does now.  Today, I have a hard time remembering what it was like when she was so fragile and I had to support every part of her.  Now, she is a wild woman throwing her toys and practically feeding herself!  We are eating peaches, pears, peas, sweet potatoes, prunes, well you get the point, anything pureed and found in the baby food isle.  Her favorite is bananas and oatmeal for breakfast! She loves to cuddle with blankets when she falls asleep and she always has a smile on her face (except when she is hungry!).  This year on Darcy's...
Post a Comment
Read more

Preperation

We all know what tomorrow is and we all know what is to come.  Sure, time with our family, but if you are cooking the meal you are probably thinking of all the time in the kitchen you are going to spend, the dishes, the "how in the WORLD am I going to prepare all this with one measly oven?". If you are like me, you like to prepare a little a head of time and make what you can the night before so you can just pop in in the oven to cook.  And you can tackle those dishes a little early so they don't overrun your kitchen as they would if you were preparing everything all at once.   I also like to have a little snack for people to munch on while they are waiting for the main dishes. Kind of like a warm up for the tummy.  This year it's just me and hubby and our little girl, but I thought since there is a long weekend coming up and my husband is going to be here SO MUCH (come on, you know I love him) I figured, why not make something that we can have on hand for br...
Post a Comment
Read more