Skip to main content

Eight hours

Here I sit 8 hours before my open heart surgery. I've waited to write another post since I've been having multiple emotions over the past week or so. I've cycled through fear, excitement, hope, uneasiness, and anxiousness, just to name a few. I've even wanted to call all my doctors and tell them I've changed my mind, I can't go through with it. Then I remind myself that this has to be done, I'll have to go through it at some point in my life, might as well be now when I am healthy and strong.

I expected to be a mess today. Even though I feel like I've gone through today with a deer in the headlights look, I am pretty content, at ease. Elliot only spent about an hour and a half at daycare today while I did my pre-op testing. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her since she won't get to see me while I'm in the ICU. I've talked to her as much as I can about mommy staying in the hospital. I've tried to get her excited about different family members coming in town over the next week and she's handled the information pretty well. She's been playing doctor a lot, using me as the patient, so when I come home I know I'll have an excellent caregiver.

I don't know really what to expect. I'm just so ready to get it over with. Ready to start healing. Ready to get things back to normal as soon as possible.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When I light my candle tonight

I will think of not only my child, but all of the precious babies that could not stay with us here on earth. It is sad we have to have a day for this kind of thing. It breaks my heart to think that others have suffered the same kind of loss. I never knew this day existed until I experienced the death of our daughter. We miss her so much and think about her all the time. We love and miss you greatly, Darcy Jayne.
Post a Comment
Read more

Pills...pills...more pills?!

As I mentioned a while back, I went to the OB/GYN doctor on the fourth of August. He ran some blood work to see my progesterone , FSH and LH levels.They all came back showing the classic signs of PCOS . But, I have a great doctor and he is determined to get me ovulating regularly. He says I obviously don't have a problem getting pregnant, since I've been there twice before, it's just my ovulation is out of whack. Yes, I said twice before. In February we found out that I was pregnant again, four days later I lost it. I was only five weeks along. We didn't tell our families just a few close friends. Anyway, after the test results came back my doctor started me on Metformin . I've heard of women with PCOS taking this because of insulin resistance and it helps them to regulate, but he told me that it would help decrease the risk of a miscarriage. So I started that on the eleventh. Aunt flow decided not to show up this month so he prescribed me Prometrium (progesteron...
1 comment
Read more

Rewind

I take back what I said yesterday. My life is not going back together...I kind of had a break down at work today. After that post yesterday, it all started going downhill. Can we say rollarcoaster much? ugh! When will I be "normal" again? I know I will never be the person I was a year ago, which is fine...but, when will all of the... I'm good.... Not so good.... I think I could curl up and die.... Oh, no I'm alright.... Why can't I have my daughter... Oh, no I can handle looking at a baby.... Get that baby away from me... stop?
1 comment
Read more