Skip to main content

Crawling out from under my rock

Hello again blogger world! I have been in hiding for some time.  Elliot is now 7 months old and changing everyday.  The other day I picked her up and she just looked so different from just the night before when I laid her down to sleep.  It is crazy how fast they change.  She does something new every week! In the first days of having Elliot home I couldn't imagine her being any different or doing the things she does now.  Today, I have a hard time remembering what it was like when she was so fragile and I had to support every part of her.  Now, she is a wild woman throwing her toys and practically feeding herself!  We are eating peaches, pears, peas, sweet potatoes, prunes, well you get the point, anything pureed and found in the baby food isle.  Her favorite is bananas and oatmeal for breakfast! She loves to cuddle with blankets when she falls asleep and she always has a smile on her face (except when she is hungry!). 

This year on Darcy's birthday we all 3 went to her grave site.  We tied her pink happy birthday balloon to the shephard's hook and we let 2 balloons go for her second birthday. 

I often think about what the future holds for my little girl.  When she is asked in school if she has any brothers or sisters.  How does she answer that?  Will she feel the need to explain it like I feel the need to explain it?  Will she hide it as a secret and only tell her closest friends?  Will she just say "no" when a person that isn't that close to her asks, because one is sure they are just asking to be friendly?  When is even the right time to tell her?  Do I wait until she is old enough to understand about death?  Wouldn't that be lying to her up until then?  All these questions make a lap around my brain every once in a while and I never can find the answers for them. 

She has some things that we bought for Darcy and now we have given to her and I tell her that it was her sisters.  We do talk about Darcy around her, but one day she is going to be old enough to ask who Darcy is and I don't know how to answer that one either. 

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hello September

I can't believe it's September! So close to Fall.  This time of year is one of my favorites.  Of course, Fall in South Texas is not the Fall I am used to being from the Midwest.  Football isn't the same if you're not freezing your buns off in the stands, holding a cup of hot cocoa just try stay warm.  It reminds me of marching band practice and the fall festival in my hometown.  Funnel cakes and potato gunfights. Freshly pulled taffy and the Ferris wheel that was always scary but the best view in town. And who can have the Fall without the beautiful changing leaves!  My goal this year is to make it up to North Texas where I hear the leaves do change colors. And call me crazy, but I think this will be the first year I really jump on the pumpkin spice train.  I like pumpkin but never really understood the whole craze around the pumpkin spice.  But I made me some pumpkin pancakes the other day and I was definitely craving more after they were go...
1 comment
Read more

I did something

A while back a coworker suggested to me that I give audiobooks a try.  I laughed under my breath and thought to myself "hard pass!".  I thought, "what's the point in LISTENING to a books? I want to READ books!".  That's what a book is!  A few weeks go by and she brings it up again, and this time sends me a sample.  While a lot of my coworkers have jumped on the audiobook bandwagon I just didn't see the point.  The way my attention span is I would end up having to listen to the same thing over and over to remember what I just heard in the first place, let alone comprehend the story.  Days went by and I finally gave in a listened to the audio sample.  While we don't exactly have the same taste in the book department, I had an idea.  What if I kept my entertaining books to the reading kind and gave motivational books a try in the audio world.  I downloaded the Libby app and searched my local library and found a book that I had been interest...
Post a Comment
Read more

Anxiety

Two weeks from today I will be on the other side of my open heart surgery. I have moments of great excitement for the time to be here and then moments of shear fear of what could go wrong. I guess this is all normal for anyone facing a major surgery. I made the surgery date in early July and it feels like time is just moving at a snail's pace. I am looking forward to feeling better and being able to do things that I couldn't endure before. Maybe I'll be able to run? Maybe I'll be able to sit on the floor with my daughter without my legs falling asleep almost immediately. Maybe climbing a hill won't be so difficult and I won't have to stop every 10 feet to catch my breath. I keep telling myself if 18-month-old me can do it, 30-year-old me can do it.
Post a Comment
Read more