Skip to main content

Crawling out from under my rock

Hello again blogger world! I have been in hiding for some time.  Elliot is now 7 months old and changing everyday.  The other day I picked her up and she just looked so different from just the night before when I laid her down to sleep.  It is crazy how fast they change.  She does something new every week! In the first days of having Elliot home I couldn't imagine her being any different or doing the things she does now.  Today, I have a hard time remembering what it was like when she was so fragile and I had to support every part of her.  Now, she is a wild woman throwing her toys and practically feeding herself!  We are eating peaches, pears, peas, sweet potatoes, prunes, well you get the point, anything pureed and found in the baby food isle.  Her favorite is bananas and oatmeal for breakfast! She loves to cuddle with blankets when she falls asleep and she always has a smile on her face (except when she is hungry!). 

This year on Darcy's birthday we all 3 went to her grave site.  We tied her pink happy birthday balloon to the shephard's hook and we let 2 balloons go for her second birthday. 

I often think about what the future holds for my little girl.  When she is asked in school if she has any brothers or sisters.  How does she answer that?  Will she feel the need to explain it like I feel the need to explain it?  Will she hide it as a secret and only tell her closest friends?  Will she just say "no" when a person that isn't that close to her asks, because one is sure they are just asking to be friendly?  When is even the right time to tell her?  Do I wait until she is old enough to understand about death?  Wouldn't that be lying to her up until then?  All these questions make a lap around my brain every once in a while and I never can find the answers for them. 

She has some things that we bought for Darcy and now we have given to her and I tell her that it was her sisters.  We do talk about Darcy around her, but one day she is going to be old enough to ask who Darcy is and I don't know how to answer that one either. 

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Easy does it

I'm all about simple these days.  And leftovers! This meal is both.  Took about 20 minutes prep time and you could eat it then or make it in the morning, like I did, to reheat later that evening for dinner.  I think mine looks a little funny, maybe cause I used the different colored noodles, but it has all my kid's favorites like the spiral pasta and peas and carrots. And it is good! Meat, veggies, pasta all in one dish.  Add some Italian or garlic bread and you have dinner! Oh, and did I mention it is a great meal on a budget?! Pasta and Ham Primavera Recipe 8 oz rotini 1 lb frozen vegetables (I used peas and carrots) 1 1/3 cup diced ham 2 cloves garlic 1 jar Alfredo sauce Cook pasta according to package, add frozen veggies during last 2 minutes.  Drain.  Cook ham and garlic 2-3 minutes.  Add sauce, 1/4 cup water and 1/4 tsp pepper.  Bring to a boil, stir in pasta mixture, stirring until h...
Post a Comment
Read more

Warning...this could get messy

So, this is pretty much a rant and I apologize ahead of time for this, but sometimes you just have to get it off your chest. There is a girl at work that every time I mention about something aching or happening to me that I link to my pregnancy she insists that it's not related to my pregnancy. What the heck? She has no idea what is going on with my body! I'll just give an example from this morning. When I woke up my side hut, my lower side. So, when she asked me what was wrong today I told her my side hurt. She's like "from what?" and I said, "probably from me getting fatter". Now, before I tell you what she said, let me back up my theory of why I thought this was the reason for my side hurting. I read on one of my MANY pregnancy info sites that one of the symptoms I could be having is my side hurting from stretching, growing, ya know. Well, she says "I highly doubt that." I could understand if this girl that I work with has never been pregnan...
Post a Comment
Read more

11 days

As the year mark inches closer I find myself thinking about the night that I went to the hospital. I find myself thinking about the moment she was born. I find myself thinking about the moment the doctors told me there was no hope. I remember when my OB told me that she was coming and I just looked at my husband who was just looking back at me. I was totally frozen. I don't know if I was in shock or if it was from the pain medication that was flowing through my system. All I knew, was that it was too soon. I remember them telling me that she was measuring smaller than what they originally thought she was. They told us that we had a choice. A choice to hold our daughter while she left this world or they could transfer her an hour away to another hospital. But, they did not believe she would survive the ambulance ride. I was frozen. We sent her an hour away. My husband went along and I stayed admitted into the hospital. Somebody who is reading this right now is probably thinking, ...
Post a Comment
Read more