Skip to main content

Crawling out from under my rock

Hello again blogger world! I have been in hiding for some time.  Elliot is now 7 months old and changing everyday.  The other day I picked her up and she just looked so different from just the night before when I laid her down to sleep.  It is crazy how fast they change.  She does something new every week! In the first days of having Elliot home I couldn't imagine her being any different or doing the things she does now.  Today, I have a hard time remembering what it was like when she was so fragile and I had to support every part of her.  Now, she is a wild woman throwing her toys and practically feeding herself!  We are eating peaches, pears, peas, sweet potatoes, prunes, well you get the point, anything pureed and found in the baby food isle.  Her favorite is bananas and oatmeal for breakfast! She loves to cuddle with blankets when she falls asleep and she always has a smile on her face (except when she is hungry!). 

This year on Darcy's birthday we all 3 went to her grave site.  We tied her pink happy birthday balloon to the shephard's hook and we let 2 balloons go for her second birthday. 

I often think about what the future holds for my little girl.  When she is asked in school if she has any brothers or sisters.  How does she answer that?  Will she feel the need to explain it like I feel the need to explain it?  Will she hide it as a secret and only tell her closest friends?  Will she just say "no" when a person that isn't that close to her asks, because one is sure they are just asking to be friendly?  When is even the right time to tell her?  Do I wait until she is old enough to understand about death?  Wouldn't that be lying to her up until then?  All these questions make a lap around my brain every once in a while and I never can find the answers for them. 

She has some things that we bought for Darcy and now we have given to her and I tell her that it was her sisters.  We do talk about Darcy around her, but one day she is going to be old enough to ask who Darcy is and I don't know how to answer that one either. 

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

More on March of Dimes

I am so excited about the March of Dimes walk next month! I love doing this because it makes me feel even closer to my daughter. It lets people know that she was someone that was here and they acknowledge her more. I just want everyone to realize and be aware of the things that can go wrong during pregnancy. For example, when I was pregnant with Darcy I never in a million years knew something like this could happen. That could be my own ignorance or lack of education, but I'm sure I'm not the only one unaware of a woman having a weak cervix. The night I went into the hospital before giving birth to Darcy I was in a lot of pain, but I never dreamed that I was in labor. I just thought I'd go in and get checked out and come home happy and still pregnant. The thought of coming home without my baby never crossed my mind. The March of Dimes gives mothers a chance to honor their babies that they have lost and let other know about them. I expect that day will be filled with many te...

Back to work

My 30 week appointment went well yesterday. I actually lost weight this time! Don't know how I managed to do that. I made a batch of cookies last week and I pretty much polished them off myself. I'm not complaining! Today I'm going back to work for the first time in a whole two months. I don't really think my doctor was too fond of my going back, but I really have no choice right now. If I didn't feel like I could do it, I wouldn't, but I have been feeling pretty good and he seems to think I am doing great this go around. My FMLA is almost up and I need to hold onto my job as long as I can until this baby is born. I'm pretty sure my boss has an evil plan to let me go as soon as she is legally able to. So, as you can guess I am looking forward to going back! It's just for about 7 more weeks or so. I can do that. I actually got up at the first buzzer this morning when the alarm went off. Wonder how long that will last? It probably helps that falling as...

Pills...pills...more pills?!

As I mentioned a while back, I went to the OB/GYN doctor on the fourth of August. He ran some blood work to see my progesterone , FSH and LH levels.They all came back showing the classic signs of PCOS . But, I have a great doctor and he is determined to get me ovulating regularly. He says I obviously don't have a problem getting pregnant, since I've been there twice before, it's just my ovulation is out of whack. Yes, I said twice before. In February we found out that I was pregnant again, four days later I lost it. I was only five weeks along. We didn't tell our families just a few close friends. Anyway, after the test results came back my doctor started me on Metformin . I've heard of women with PCOS taking this because of insulin resistance and it helps them to regulate, but he told me that it would help decrease the risk of a miscarriage. So I started that on the eleventh. Aunt flow decided not to show up this month so he prescribed me Prometrium (progesteron...