Skip to main content

Anxiety

Two weeks from today I will be on the other side of my open heart surgery. I have moments of great excitement for the time to be here and then moments of shear fear of what could go wrong. I guess this is all normal for anyone facing a major surgery. I made the surgery date in early July and it feels like time is just moving at a snail's pace. I am looking forward to feeling better and being able to do things that I couldn't endure before. Maybe I'll be able to run? Maybe I'll be able to sit on the floor with my daughter without my legs falling asleep almost immediately. Maybe climbing a hill won't be so difficult and I won't have to stop every 10 feet to catch my breath. I keep telling myself if 18-month-old me can do it, 30-year-old me can do it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

March of Dimes

Here are a couple of pictures from the walk on April 19, 2009 that I've been meaning to post. I absent mindedly left my camera at home that day...my husband took some pictures of the poster we made in memory of Darcy and the memory mile sign on his phone. I will try to get those posted sometime in the near future.

Rewind

I take back what I said yesterday. My life is not going back together...I kind of had a break down at work today. After that post yesterday, it all started going downhill. Can we say rollarcoaster much? ugh! When will I be "normal" again? I know I will never be the person I was a year ago, which is fine...but, when will all of the... I'm good.... Not so good.... I think I could curl up and die.... Oh, no I'm alright.... Why can't I have my daughter... Oh, no I can handle looking at a baby.... Get that baby away from me... stop?

Oh, what a day

I'm feeling a little blah today. It's beautiful outside and I am stuck indoors. Maybe I will go sit out on the porch for a little bit this afternoon. Technically it is indoors since the porch is glassed in, right? This is going to start to get hard now since it is getting so nice outside. My Aunt loaned me her full disc set of all the seasons of the show "Friends" a few weeks ago. I didn't realize there were so many of them! I'm a little halfway through and have made it a personal goal of mine to get to the end. Then next on my list is "Desperate Housewives", which another aunt loaned me. I've moved away from my reading phase. I don't know what it is, but I have always been like that. I will read like crazy for a straight month or so and then stop cold turkey for who knows how long. Hopefully the baby bedding comes in tomorrow like it is supposed to so we can, well more like so Chris can go get the paint for the walls in the baby's ...