Two weeks from today I will be on the other side of my open heart surgery. I have moments of great excitement for the time to be here and then moments of shear fear of what could go wrong. I guess this is all normal for anyone facing a major surgery. I made the surgery date in early July and it feels like time is just moving at a snail's pace. I am looking forward to feeling better and being able to do things that I couldn't endure before. Maybe I'll be able to run? Maybe I'll be able to sit on the floor with my daughter without my legs falling asleep almost immediately. Maybe climbing a hill won't be so difficult and I won't have to stop every 10 feet to catch my breath. I keep telling myself if 18-month-old me can do it, 30-year-old me can do it.
Thank goodness it is Friday! I was so happy when I woke up this morning and remembered that today is Friday. Payday at that! I don't know why payday excites me, as all the money goes to some sort of bill! But, I'm thankful that I can pay them. This weekend is exciting though because I can enjoy it without being sick! Plus I get to go to lunch with my dear friend who I love having lunch with because we can relate to a lot of the same things. Guess that is why we are friends! As the week comes to a close I like to reflect on what has happened during last 5 days. It's crazy how so many ups and downs occur in such a small time frame. No major occurrences (thank goodness) but, one that make you stop and think where you are. This week I discovered that one of my co-workers in my department is expecting. I still don't know why I have the feelings that I do.I should be happy for the ones around me, but I still feel some sort of jealousy. I want so bad to feel excited and happy ...
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