On Thursday we met with my surgeon for the last time before the day of the surgery. I am terrible at asking questions. I always forget them during the visit and remember them after I have left the office. So, for the past couple of weeks I had made little notes on my phone with the "notes" app. My phone goes with me everywhere, so every time I would think of a question I would just whip my phone out and type it up and save it. I had about four questions. Yes, for the past few weeks that I had known of this appointment and this being one heck of a serious surgery I had thought of four whole questions. And they were all answered in a whopping five minutes. I thought they were pretty good, too. Thought they sounded pretty knowledgeable. Like:
Four months ago I lost my baby girl. That’s what has been on my mind all day today. If all had went the way a pregnancy is suppose to go, she would have been born this month. But, I can’t keep thinking of all of that. The days, weeks, and now months are marching on and I must too. Of course that doesn’t mean forgetting or pushing it away, but to not dwell on the “what if I did this” or “what if this had happened” or “if I just had been here”. I can’t change what happened. So, to start looking forward and honoring my daughter, I’ve thought about the up and coming March of Dimes in my area. My friend, just yesterday, invited me to join her hospital’s team. I thought that was an excellent idea and I am planning on joining her and her teammates. I would like to honor my daughter in other ways too. If anyone has any unique ideas, please feel free to share them with me. I recently took a huge step forward. It may not seem like one to others, but to me it’s a huge advance. A little back story...
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