Skip to main content

Faith and speculation

I am so glad the weekend is over with! It was a bad one. Chris, my husband, lost his grandmother over the weekend. We were all very close to her and it was very sudden and unexpected. We just saw her last weekend and I think it hasn't truly became a reality yet. She was a wonderful woman and will greatly be missed.

It's so amazing how things can change in the matter of minutes. I know most of you have experienced this in many different ways. Some, unfortunately more tragically than others. It's just a reminder that we are not in control of the big picture. When I was a very young girl I remember attending church. Really, attending Sunday school. Which, mostly consisted of arts and crafts with a little lesson to go along with it. Before I was old enough to think for myself and really understand what the Bible was all about, we stopped going to church. I have always believed in God and the Bible, but I've never studied it all. I always just called myself a believer. When my daughter was born and then passed, I was lost. I didn't know what to do. Somehow I stumbled upon somebody's blog about losing their child. After that it became kind of an addiction. I soon found myself looking for stories just like mine or similar to mine. At one point I thought "what is wrong with me?". Why would I want to read somebody's sorrow, someone's loss? But, then I realized that person understood what I was going through, that I can related, that I'm not alone! And it felt good. As odd as that may sound, it did. It felt good that others knew me on a certain level that people I see and interact with every day, even my best friend didn't fully understand. I felt normal and the feelings I had were normal. Some of the blogs I read really talked about their faith. And it comforted me. I have more faith than I have had before. No, I do not attend church. No, I do not read the bible. But, I am closer to taking those steps.

Praying is also something that I have taken to lately. Praying for the mothers and families that have gone through a difficult time in their life and may still be struggling to cope a loss. Or new mothers that are just starting on their journey. One story especially tugged on my heart. I don't know if anyone has kept up with the story on Little April Rose these past couple of months, but I have. It's a story about a mother that chose not to terminate her pregnancy even though her little one was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and Holoprosencephaly and was given a very grim prognosis. There has been speculation that this was a scam and I never doubted this young, single mom for one moment until this morning. This morning was the first time I've had a chance to log on and get caught up with everyone. I learned that this little one was born over the weekend and went to read up on it. But, to my surprise her blog had been taken down. I searched around and kept finding other bloggers who had posted their speculations as well. This really hurts me because I believed her the whole time and left her upbeat comments and prayed for her and her little girl. I can't fathom somebody doing this. It's really sad. Does anyone know the truth?

Comments

  1. Shanti MamaJune 9, 2009 at 2:37 PM

    I have been thinking about you. I'm so sorry for the passing of Grandmother. I hope you and your husband are doing as well as can be expected. Big hugs to the both of you.

    I just heard about the April Rose story from a blogger friend of mine. It sounds odd what is going on. I don't know the story, but this blog is lunching her own investigation http://gibsontwins.blogspot.com/.

    PS Thank you for all you positive comments and support.

    Peace & love.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thanksgiving weekend

I hope everybody had a safe and happy holiday! I can't believe my four day weekend is almost over! But, I've had a great time off. Thanksgiving we spent at my parent's house with a couple of my aunts. We had chili and spent the afternoon talking. Then that evening Chris and I made an awesome dinner and had two of our very good friends over. Since my Mom decided to just make chili that day, since her side of the family got together later on in the weekend, I just had to make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner! Especially since I can indulge this year without too much guilt. It was a great holiday spent with family and friends. I didn't join in on the black Friday madness. I just don't do that sort of thing. Saturdays at the grocery store stresses me out. We did however go out later that afternoon when it was much calmer. Today was my side of the family's big get together. It was a very nice time and great food, again! But, it was hard to go through another h...
Post a Comment
Read more

4 month have gone by...

Four months ago I lost my baby girl. That’s what has been on my mind all day today. If all had went the way a pregnancy is suppose to go, she would have been born this month. But, I can’t keep thinking of all of that. The days, weeks, and now months are marching on and I must too. Of course that doesn’t mean forgetting or pushing it away, but to not dwell on the “what if I did this” or “what if this had happened” or “if I just had been here”. I can’t change what happened. So, to start looking forward and honoring my daughter, I’ve thought about the up and coming March of Dimes in my area. My friend, just yesterday, invited me to join her hospital’s team. I thought that was an excellent idea and I am planning on joining her and her teammates. I would like to honor my daughter in other ways too. If anyone has any unique ideas, please feel free to share them with me. I recently took a huge step forward. It may not seem like one to others, but to me it’s a huge advance. A little back story...
Post a Comment
Read more

Incase you were wondering

So, I've really been slacking lately with the updating my blog and taking new pictures each week. I'm almost 17 weeks and I haven't taken a picture since 14 weeks. I guess I thought I haven't changed too much to post one every single week. Hopefully tomorrow I will get a 16 weeker up. My cerclage procedure went well. Except I was awake for the entire thing! Which is what I was not wanting. I think my past history kind of freaked them out...open heart surgery, pacemaker surgery. So, I can understand that. They gave me a spinal block which burnt like hell, but not for long. Soon I couldn't feel the lower half of my body and it was really freaky if I thought about it too hard. So, I stared at the ceiling for the 30 minutes it took and listened to what they talk about when you are supposed to be asleep during an "operation". I was just amazed by what I could not feel. I've never had a spinal block before and it's just so strange how you can have no c...
Post a Comment
Read more